It’s weird to sit down and think about this time last year. Last year, I was in my final semester of my senior year of college at Mississippi State University. I was taking 6 classes (18 hours), working on projects, writing papers, and just taking it one day at a time, one step closer to graduation. Would you believe me if I said that I miss those days? I miss being a student and learning. I miss the class environment. Sure it’s annoying in the moment, but once you get that final grade all that work you put into it seems worth it.
Once I graduated from college, I didn’t have time to reflect on what that all entailed because it was the start of one of the busiest years with just one thing after the other of stuff going on. And in the midst of that I’m supposed to figure out what my next step is and what I want to do with the rest of my life?
All I’ve known is being a student and an athlete, and those titles were stripped from me and now I don’t know what I am. Confused? Yea, that’s what I am. It’s like all my life I was working toward getting my degree and once I got it, I just didn’t know what to work towards anymore because I didn’t know what to do next with my life. It’s been hard.
As much as I want to go back in time to last year when I had a clear idea of what my goals were, I know I can’t do that. I have to look ahead and not dwell in what was the past, even though it was much easier times. I’m trying to get out of this hole that I’ve put myself in and I’m not sure if it’s working. I just wish I could get to the part where I have it figured out, because these past few months have been mentally exhausting. I have to stick this out though and move one day at a time, hoping that it will be one step closer to where I’m supposed to be.