My skin. It’s always been something I’ve been self-conscious of. I always had really bad acne growing up from middle school to high school, and it didn’t help that I never wore makeup except mascara. At the time, I was a year-round athlete and I thought that wearing makeup was just covering up who you really were underneath. So, no makeup Maddie. Money was always a weird thing growing up for me because I never wanted to ask my parents for it because I just felt guilty for asking. They already did so much for me so I didn’t really deserve to ask for anything. So I went throughout high school wearing no makeup except for one prom and one homecoming occurrence, and I think my high school graduation. This meant that my bad breakouts were on full display for everyone to see. I wasn’t fortunate to have one breakout here or there. It was multiple mountains all over my cheeks and it would be the first thing I noticed looking in the mirror. I remember I got some Neutrogena facial cleansers here and there, but I was never consistent with it and never really saw a change. I wanted it to immediately work and clear my skin, but it didn’t.
I didn’t realize it until now, but one of the many reasons why I loved clothes and dressing up was because I thought maybe people could look at my outfit instead of my face. If someone could focus on my cute outfit instead of my red, inflamed face, then I thought I was ok. I never wanted to complain about my face to people, so it was always a hidden insecurity of mine that I didn’t want to talk about.
So then I graduated and went to college. I discovered makeup and how it enhances your beauty, contrary to my previous beliefs about it. I could feel somewhat good about myself even though I would still have breakouts here and there, but never as badly as high school. I was still never into a skincare routine because I thought it was too time consuming and I never wanted to spend the money on it. It wasn’t until last summer working that I decided to invest in my skin. I started searching products with good reviews and I splurged on a cleanser, toner, and moisturizer. But once again, I was never really consistent with it. I would do it every now and then but would just mostly take my makeup off and that was it.
It actually wasn’t until I graduated from college that I really got consistent with my skincare routine. I still have lazy days where I don’t do it, don’t get me wrong, but I realized how important it is to cleanse your skin, especially if you’ve worn makeup. That fresh feeling of completely cleaning your skin is wonderful! I over-exaggerated how long your skincare routine had to be in the past. You could either spend 10 minutes really cleaning your face and caring for it, or you could spend those 10 minutes scrolling on Instagram. The choice is up to you. Time passes either way.
This is the most consistent I’ve ever been with my skincare routine and I’m happy to say my skin has never felt so soft, and I only have occasional breakouts like when I’m on my period or when a pimple just wants to make another lovely appearance for no reason. It’s not the cluster of pimples that I used to have, and I’m thankful for that! I try to never touch my face, which was a really bad habit of mine that I used to have. The photo on the left in the feature image above was from Christmas of 2012, and the photo on the right was taken today. I still have scars and I feel like my face is super red whenever I don’t wear makeup, but I’m happy because my skin has come such a long way from where it was in high school.
For any of those out there that are struggling with your skin, please know that you are not alone. It gets better, and it can get better when you actually invest in the products you buy for your face and you actually stay consistent with taking care of it. I hope you know how beautiful you are though no matter what your skin looks like. When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t see beauty back in high school. I used to think I was so ugly because of my skin, and it wasn’t until college that I thought I was any sort of beautiful. Love yourself, no matter what. The way you speak to yourself matters! If you don’t talk negatively to other people, you shouldn’t talk that negatively to yourself. I hope you learn this sooner rather than later because it took me a long time to actually grasp the concept of thinking positive thoughts about myself!!
Thank you, you beautiful person, for taking the time to read my skin journey. I hope you have a wonderful rest of the day wherever you are and I hope you know just how beautiful you are <3