Lately, I’ve been feeling reminiscent and nostalgic for old times. During these times of uncertainty in my life, I’ve done a lot of self-reflection and have had a lot of time with myself, just thinking. Which honestly is never a good sign because you never know whether your thoughts will lead you in a good or bad direction.
But lately I’ve just found myself thinking about my life and remembering all the memories that entail when I’m doing certain things. I got to go to my high school a couple of weeks ago and it’s crazy to think that years ago this was where I spent so much of my time. I spent 8 hours a day there, 5 days a week, and that doesn’t even include all my time there playing sports. Looking back, I couldn’t wait to get out, but now? I wish I could relive certain moments. I wish I could relive playing basketball and volleyball games from my senior year, where my team and I went to the Final Four in both sports for the first time in school history. I wish I could relive those fun, carefree days in elementary school where there were field trips and class parties. I remember looking up to the “big” kids in high school and I couldn’t wait to be that age. Nowadays, I look at those little kids and think about how easy it was to just be a kid and how you didn’t have any huge life worries.
I look back on these moments and think about how much I took them for granted, like seeing my brother’s play baseball. I would give anything to go see them play again, and feel like I didn’t fully appreciate them when I was younger.
I look back on these moments and wonder if they are the best memories that I will ever have. Did I peak back then and it’s just been going downhill from there? I really hope not, but it doesn’t stop the thought from crossing my mind. There’s this song by The Bravery called Time Won’t Let Me Go and I’ve been listening to it a lot more than usual lately. The lyric “All these precious moments, you promised me would come in time, so where was I when I had mine?” has really stuck with me. It’s exactly how I feel right now. Did all my greatest moments in time already occur?
This seems like such a short, random post, but I just wanted to share what’s been on my mind recently. I know I can’t change the past or relive moments, even though I wish I could. I should look towards creating new memories now, instead of reveling about the past. There are still things to look forward to, even though I have no idea what yet. I guess that’s why I wanted to start this blog in the first place. To have this space on the internet as a virtual journal that I can look back on in years to come and reminisce on these moments of what I loved and was thinking about at certain times. I’d like to think that I have a good memory, but I’m so afraid of forgetting all the little moments in life, like what music I listened to and what books I was reading, and what fashion I was in to. I never want to forget them, and I’m so grateful I started this blog in order to do just that!
Thanks for stopping by on this random, kind of depressing post. Hope you have a great one <3